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A couple weeks ago I told you about Becky and how Grandpa had stuffed her full of food that we had to pull out before taking the car home.  Mostly canned food, but there were a few fresh items that we took back with us.  The lemons, the blueberries, and the fresh pineapple.  There was so much going on at the time that upon returning home, the pineapple sat in a sack on the floor, forgotten, for two weeks.

Grandpa ran everywhere until his last two years, and it got him in the local paper in 2009!

We picked up Becky on March 2nd, Grandpa’s funeral was March 9th and a week later, on March 16, I ovulated.  Yeah, when you’re a woman who really wants kids and has spent years and years waiting for one, you keep track of stuff like that, and more.  :)  So there I was, another month, another day of ovulation, another two weeks of restless hopefulness awaiting me, even despite my stressful month and grief, and I had this supremely ripe pineapple from my Grandpa that I’d almost forgotten about.  But ovulation triggered my memory and I dug it out of its sack and sliced into it.

Mom, Grandpa, and Grandma in 1996. This hat has a blog of its own coming soon. :)

It is fairly well known among the baby-desperate (as are many tricks and aids for conceiving) that pineapple can help a fetus implant in the uterus, as it softens the lining.  Have you ever eaten so much fresh pineapple that your tongue bleeds?  Dennis loves pineapple so much that he has developed his own rule for when to stop eating it–when you start to see blood on the pineapple you’re biting into (lol).  That’s an enzyme in the pineapple called bromelain, which essentially softens up tissues, which also happens to help prepare the uterus for a baby if there was one created that month.

Grandpa holding me as a baby, 1980.

(As a side note, pineapple juice works great in a marinade because it tenderizes the meat! This one is my favoritest favorite marinade for steak to date.)

Grandma and Grandpa in love, circa 1950.

The highest concentration of bromelain is in the pineapple core and you’re supposed to eat a slice a day, including the core, for the first five days after ovulation.  It had been a long time since I tried this trick and forgot about the five day rule and continued eating it for seven days.  On day eight, while we were at our evening church service, I experienced mild uterine cramping, similar to what I usually feel at that time of my cycle as my body begins to prepare to shed the lining because there is no baby.  As I sat in church with that feeling, it was strange, but while I did feel a little disappointed, I felt more hopeful than anything else.  Well I guess it isn’t strange, I always had such incredible hope that surpassed any realistic expectations I should have had after thirteen years.  But I had this cautiously happy feeling in my heart, wondering if maybe, just maybe, there was a baby settling in and that’s what I was feeling.

Baby Grandpa, 1930

Turned out, that’s exactly what I was feeling!  Isn’t it beautiful how this child sprang to life so soon after Grandpa’s death, and with his help?  If I hadn’t gotten this pineapple from him in this sad and strange way, there might not be a baby now.  It tempers the sadness for me and turns it into something radiant.  It makes the baby feel so connected to him, and it just really touches my heart to know that Grandpa helped us conceive this child, like he was working directly with God to help our little cupcake come into being.  Even though our baby won’t know him, I have this picture of him framed, which I blew up and had printed from his newspaper article, and I will have lots of stories, including the pineapple story, for our child. I think Cupcake Miller is going to love their Great-Grandpa Millner and repeat these stories to our future grand children. Or at least, I hope so. :)

The circle of life.  Pain.  Grief.  Beauty.  Incredible joy.

As you may know, my Grandfather passed away at the end of February.  He had been gearing up to make a trip to Wichita so that he could deliver a car that he’d fixed up for me, and also to visit.  It was my sister’s old car, a ’96 Camry, which she sold to Dad because she couldn’t afford an expensive repair, which I was buying from Dad, and which Grandpa had said he would fix in exchange for Baby.  I thought he was off his rocker, because Baby is more of a liability than an asset, but I agreed.  He loves to fix cars and he probably was going to use her for parts, so maybe it was a good deal, or maybe he was just being ultra-generous.  Probably a combination of both, as he really lived to help others out…and to fix cars.  He consistently had about ten of them, or more, on his property.

I was very eager to get the Camry back, but Grandpa isn’t known for his timeliness.  Mom got her lateness factor from him, and multiplied it by a million, but he still is pretty hard to keep on a schedule.  He had fixed the car after a few months, but instead of bringing it back or letting us come and pick it up, he kept telling us he really wanted to make the trip himself because he lived to visit us and delivering the car gave him a good reason to come.  Nine months later, he was ready to bring it! A snow storm (the one that almost killed me) delayed him by a week and before the weather cleared…he was gone.

We aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow, but most of us take it for granted, not only for ourselves but for our loved ones.  As we witness the heartbreaking devastation and loss from the Oklahoma tornadoes, it is a good reminder to appreciate what we have today, especially the people, because we never know if we’ll have them tomorrow.  I’m just so glad we got to have one last good visit with Grandpa before he passed.

Grandpa always made sure to feed us something nutritious while he was visiting!

Dennis and I traveled with Mom and Dad to Joplin, MO, the weekend after Grandpa’s death so that we could pick up the car, and they were going to stay behind to help Uncle David care for Grandma, who has advanced Alzheimer’s.   The funeral wasn’t until the following weekend.  When we arrived, we found the car stuffed to the gills with food.

As we emptied it out, saving a bit for ourselves since Uncle David said we could keep what we wanted, I thought about Grandpa and how he had probably bought all this food to give to those he loved.  I thought about all the times he’d come to Wichita, car loaded to the brim with boxes full of apples, or peaches, or yogurt, or whatever, to give to us.  He lived to help people, especially their diets. :)

I wish I would have taken a picture of the back seat that showed how high the stuff was piled.  On top was a crate of blueberries, a flat of nectarines, a flat of lemons, and a pineapple.  Remember when I mentioned inheriting blueberries and lemons from Grandpa?  This is how–they came with the car. :)

Through the window you can see how high he’d piled food stuffs! This trunk had SO much in it, including a 50 lb. bag of shelled peanuts and a folding table that he bought for Dad.

I wasn’t able to thank Grandpa for his work on the car while he was here, or for the lemons and blueberries that he inadvertently gifted to me, but I’m so very thankful.  I now have a solid, reliable car that starts without any tricks, and doesn’t have any “Service” or “Check Engine” lights lit up on the dash.

And I’ve named her Becky because Becky seems like a solid, reliable kind of name to me.  :)

As for Baby, she is still alive and kicking.  Dennis turned her into his project car for a couple months and did some very inexpensive fixes on her appearance, and then my sister ended up needing a car (the same one who I inadvertently got mine from) so we gifted her with Baby.  I’m glad to have her still in the family and not consigned to a junk yard just yet.  I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for Baby and all her troublesome ways, but I’m beyond thankful for Becky and all Grandpa did to fix her up for me, including the groovy gray primer on her nose that we just need to cover with some white. :)

Though I have to say, part of me enjoys the reminder of how much work he put into the car I’m now driving.  Thank you Grandpa, I love and miss you!!!!

Once again the things in my day have overfilled the hours that remain and I have to skip the Thankful Thursday post I had planned.  Instead of having radio blog silence, however, I decided to ask you what you’re thankful for.  I opened this question up for comments on my Facebook page so head over there to add your thanksgiving(s).  I really hope to see at least 25 comments by the time I get home from work so surprise me with more, OK? :D

So I was all geared up to finally dedicate this Thursday to Grandpa. Alas, I’ve been up for 17 hours on four hours sleep (doctor appointment early in the  morning, then had cupcakes to make, my oil to change, and an 8-hour shift to work…life) and don’t have the energy to do his post justice.  Until next week, I’ll leave you with this…

Me and the little sisters all had a night in and cooked dinner together, which I don’t think we’ve done since we all lived in the same house…fifteen years ago!  I’m thankful for the wonderful evening, but mostly I’m just thankful for my awesome sisters.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Robert Brault

Some simple and “little” things that I’m thankful for this week:

Magazines.  Thanks to a couple readers/friends (Suzie and Kerry!) I get some amazing food magazines along with my other subscriptions, and having those with me at work gives me something to do when my coworkers are all smart-phoning it up on our breaks.  (Um yeah.  No smart phone for me. I’ve got my mags–I know they’re so jealous! :))

The taste of sunshine on a snowy day.  I created these cupcakes to sell for Easter, and of course had to do some quality control.  Hello, sunshine!

Cuddles with the husband.  Just nothing better than having him next to me at night.

Dressing Barbies with a a bunch of kids…and a few adults. Sometimes it’s good to forget that you’re a “grown up” and just go with the flow.  Fun times! :D

Having two little ones vying for lap time with me, and bouncing them on my legs while singing “Froggy went a courtin’.”  And their smiles of delight. Be still my beating heart!

Some simply amazing eats at Ciao.  I usually eschew the humble margherita pizza, thinking I’d prefer something with tons of toppings, but am so glad I went with simple this time. So good! Also pictured are my salad (fabuloso), a mocha, and fried mozarella. Yumbo!

Not to mention great company!

Sister-friend time with Jaci (and  her sister, Liz, who is also a special friend who thankfully doesn’t live so far away), who was visiting from TX. OK so this is not a little thing at all, this was like the highlight of my year so far, but hello.  I can’t have a Thankful Thursday blog without mentioning this just cuz it isn’t little. Duh.

Also, a really big thank you to everyone who commented on my post about my Grandpa passing. People that have never commented before came out of the woodwork and your kindness means so much.  Honestly, I don’t have the courage to read the comments yet but I did scan the names and was blown away by how many people I didn’t know had commented.  This is not a “simple thing,” it is a big thing, but I did want to take this opportunity to thank you.  I have the best readers ever. Plus, you guys have amazing taste in blogs. :D

I usually can’t tolerate being busy for very long, it really starts to get to me and after a while I need a day of nothing–plan nothing, do nothing.

However, lately I’ve been thankful for how busy I am because it helps keep my mind off of things I don’t want to think about. I haven’t mentioned it before, but I started selling cupcakes almost two months ago and I’m doing really well with it, though I’m still hesitant to say I’m officially “in business.” As long as I can convince myself it’s a casual thing, it’s not stressing me like selling cakes used to.  I’ve already gone through 500 cupcake liners and started on another bulk package, so I’m definitely keeping busy with my not-official-yet second job.

Also, friends we haven’t seen in years invited us over for dinner (Kathy and her husband were there too!) and it was really nice to reconnect with all of them and do something social since I’m usually Miss Hermit Crab all up in my shell/house and never wanting to leave.  I was really excited to meet their new baby and I even got to feed and burp him.  After burping, he rested his head against my cheek and momma snapped a photo. I could have died and gone to baby heaven. :D

My good best friend, Jaci, is in town from Texas and I will get to see her on Friday!!!!!  Yay for being busy with such good things. Praise the Lord.

On my way to work yesterday, I hit a patch of snow on the highway and lost control of my vehicle.  Usually when I start spinning around in snow or ice on a residential street,  I get this weird zen feeling and just know that everything will be OK, and I never feel out of control.  (Not that I do much spinning as I’m a cautious driver, but I’ve had a couple on really bad icy days.)  I allow the car to complete the spin while tapping the break, and it’s always OK, I’ve never hit anything.  So let’s just say I did not have that feeling yesterday when I start spinning on the highway with cars zooming past me.

I was pressing the gas instead of the break without even realizing it, panicked I was going to hit someone, and when I saw the median rushing at me I thought “Wow. I’m really going to hit that.”  And I did.

When it was all over, I was sitting on the highway, facing the oncoming traffic, and still moving forward because my foot was still pushing on the gas instead of the break.  So I finally released the gas and stopped the car, and just stared at the traffic coming at me in shock.

I was thinking, wow, I didn’t hit anyone!  Wow, my car is still running!  Wow, I’M STILL ALIVE!  As soon as there was a break in the traffic I did a U-turn to get going in the right direction, amazed that I was still on my way to work after such a close call.  I praised God and laughed with amazement and shock all the way to work, which was a bumpy ride due to the alignment of my car now being shot.

I was so shaken up when I was clocking in, I really didn’t wonder why we were immediately called to the conference room.  I thought maybe they were going to thank those who had braved the streets for not calling in due to the weather.  Um, not so much.  We were called in so they could tell us that the REC was closing.

It still hasn’t really sunk in that the job I’ve had for almost nine years is going away.  It’s not a catastrophe for me, as I will be able to get another job within the postal service if I so desire (this isn’t true for all the employees, unfortunately), but the future is still uncomfortably uncertain.   But despite this sad news, I’m happy.  I’m happy to be alive.

Funny how almost dying can put things in perspective.  :D  Thank you, Lord.  I’m thankful to be alive.

My Jessie girl enjoying our first real snow this winter (we’re up to 15 inches). One of the reasons my life is so sweet.