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PMS Pie

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When you start screaming at the pot of water because it hasn’t boiled yet, then start slamming drawers while searching for your pasta server, and eventually start throwing utensils on the kitchen floor and then start grabbing things off the counter with intent to break as many of them as possible…you know it’s time to make this pie.  You can tell your friends that it’s Five-Layer Toffee Pie but you and I both know it’s just a cure for PMS.

*Warning: this sucker is RICH so cut into small slivers if you are not actually suffering from PMS.  Otherwise, this pie serves one.

PMS Pie (AKA Five-Layer Toffee Pie)

1 store-bought Oreo cookie crust (or make your own)
2 cups dulce de leche*, room temperature
1 (8-oz) container Cool Whip, thawed
1 (8-oz) bag toffee bits (you won’t use the whole bag but you’ll need something to sustain you until the pie is assembled)

Sprinkle some toffee bits over the bottom of the crust, spread the dulce de leche over it, sprinkle on some more toffee, spread on the Cool Whip,  and then top it off with more toffee.

It’s best to refrigerate it overnight so that the dulce de leche firms up but if you’re thinking about taking a meat cleaver to the back of your neighbor’s head for parking in front of your driveway again, by all means–dig in immediately!

*You can find dulce de leche on the Mexican foods aisle at your supermarket in a can the size of sweetened condensed milk.  If you can not find any, click here for my favorite method for preparing it at home..

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Razzcherry Pie

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I am a cake lover, born to a family of pie lovers.  Making pie does not thrill me the way making and decorating a cake can, but in most cases, my family would prefer I bring pie to our get-togethers.  I’m making them so often now that I seem to have earned an unwanted reputation and have become, somewhat grudgingly, the designated pie maker amongst my friends and family.

This is how my Razzcherry Pie was born. Dad wanted pie for his birthday celebration last year, so I did an experiment to come up with a cherry & raspberry filling.  Though delicious, it turned out pretty runny so I tweaked it a bit and tried it again for our belated Mother’s Day barbecue this year (because, of course, Mom wanted pie instead of cake).  It came out perfect so I thought I’d share the recipe now that I’ve worked out the kinks.

Veronica’s Razzcherry Pie

Prepare to be razzle dazzled!

Almond Crust
1/2 cup slivered almonds
2 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for rolling
1 teaspoon salt
1 heaping teaspoon brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, very-cold, cut into 16 pieces
4 to 6 Tbsp ice water, very cold

Raspberry-Cherry Filling
1 (10-oz) package frozen raspberries
2 (14.5-oz) cans sour pitted cherries, drained well (juice reserved)
1 cup sugar
4 tbsp. cornstarch
2 tbsp butter
¼ tsp salt
½ tsp. almond extract
½ tsp red food coloring (optional)

Additional
milk & coarse sugar for top crust

Directions


This slideshow is meant as an accompaniment to the directions and has step-by-step photos & instruction for making a lattice top crust.

The night before you make the pie, put the raspberries into a colander and set it over a bowl.  Put the whole thing in the refrigerator and by the time you use them, they’ll be thawed and drained.  Save the juice.

For the crust (which can be made up to two days ahead), I recommend using a food processor.  Process the almonds until very finely ground—about the texture of cornmeal.  Add the flour, salt & brown sugar, then pulse a couple times to combine.  Cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse meal & pieces are no larger than peas.  Sprinkle 4 tbsp ice water over the top and pulse until it starts to clump together & holds together when you pinch it with your fingers.  Add additional water if necessary (I personally use 5 tbsp).  Form the dough into 2 disks, dust with flour, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate at least one hour.  Roll out one of the disks on a floured surface and fit it into a 9 inch deep dish pie plate, trimming off the excess (leave a ½” overhang if you will be using a lattice top crust).  Set in the fridge until ready to use.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees & place one oven rack in the lowest position and one in the middle. If you only have one rack, put it in the lowest position.

Pour the collected raspberry juice into a 1-cup measuring cup (you’ll probably only have a few tablespoons).  Add the reserved cherry juice until you have ¾ cup of liquid. In a saucepan mix the sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Stir in the juice and simmer over medium heat until filling is thick and clear (by clear I don’t mean the red will disappear, but that the cloudy appearance from the cornstarch will go away), about 4 to 5 minutes. Since you’ll be adding more liquid after it’s done cooking and the berries will break down and make the glaze juicier, you want to get it pretty thick.  If it isn’t gel-like after 5 minutes, whisk in more cornstarch (1 tsp at a time) and cook for another few minutes after each addition until it’s very thick.

Remove from heat and stir in the butter, almond extract & food coloring until the butter is melted and incorporated. Gently fold in the cherries & very gently fold in the raspberries.  Yes, the raspberries will fall apart but the more careful you are, the less likely it is they’ll turn to unrecognizable mush. Pour into pastry-lined pie dish and set aside. Roll out second dough disk and cut into 1/2-3/4″ strips.  Arrange the strips on top to make a lattice, trim them to the edge of the plate (slightly shorter than the overhanging edge), fold the edge over & seal.  Pour some milk (I used cream) into a dish and use your clean fingertips to moisten the strips.  Sprinkle the strips with coarse sugar (try to get it on the strips but it’s OK if some falls into the filling).

If you are just using a full top crust, seal & flute the edges, brush with milk/cream, sprinkle with sugar and cut steam vents so you don’t have a royal pie explosion in your oven. Place pie on the bottom shelf of the oven. Bake for 10 minutes, and then move to the middle shelf & reduce the heat to 350 degrees F.  At this point, you MUST put an oven liner on the rack below the pie, or cover a rimmed baking sheet with foil and place it below, because the pie will most likely bubble over and make a mess.  Continue to bake until bubbling & the crust is a golden brown, about 30 to 35 minutes more. Cool completely (best if made the day before serving) before cutting & serve with vanilla ice cream.

Will last several days on the counter & longer in the fridge.

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