People have asked if I’ve had any postpartum craziness. Well, yes, but I don’t think it’s the usual kind. I didn’t have any depression or blues, though I was more prone to tears the first couple weeks (especially with our little guy back in the hospital – that made me cry a lot!), and I didn’t get too crazy, but I did think my boob was my baby at one point. Yup.
For some reason almost every night for the first month, I would wake up thinking Joshua was in bed with us, and then I couldn’t find him and would wake Dennis up in my search for him. He has slept in his crib from day one so I have no idea why this kept happening. Sometimes I’d wake up thinking I was holding him and would be cradling my boob, thinking it was his head. For reals. Sometimes I’d wake up and stare at the back of Dennis’ head and stroke it, thinking he was Joshua. (I think this is partially justified since they both have old man hair that gets totally crazy when they sleep on it.) Sometimes I’d stroke his hand and wonder how our baby’s hands could have gotten so big, so fast.
I’m pretty sure this is kinda normal. Normal for postpartum women, I mean. It’s not normal to think your boob is a baby, but I think getting kinda crazy after a baby is normal. My sister seriously believed she had two babies and someone had kidnapped the other one. And she didn’t think this in a sleepy haze, this was a fully conscious conviction, despite having birthed and left the hospital with a single baby. Dennis told me a man at the Boot Camp for New Dads told the men about his wife’s postpartum depression, and how one day she was convinced she had dropped her baby off at daycare and when she went to pick her up, they said she never did. She had a full out meltdown yelling at them that they were trying to take her baby and when she finally got back home, she found her baby in her crib. So yeah, those whacko hormones can really do a number on your head!
What about you? Any crazy or scary postpartum stories to share?