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32 weeks: a lesson in self confidence from a fat girl

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There is a girl at work who is morbidly obese.  I’m not saying that to be mean, it’s just a fact.  I’m obese (I’m talking my pre-pregnancy weight – I’m not blaming my baby belly for being obese), and she weighs at least one hundred pounds more than me.  But despite her physical appearance, which is generally despised in our society, she is a fashionista.  She has no shame in primping in front of the bathroom mirrors on her breaks, fixing her makeup and hair, checking out her backside.  She dresses with style and has nice purses and shoes to go with her outfits.  She always comes to work “put together.”

I used to kinda feel sorry for her.  I didn’t see anything but her large body, and felt bad that she was trying so hard to make it look good when she really couldn’t.  But that changed one day when she wore a dress to work – not a muumuu, but a knee-length dress that was relatively form-fitting.  Not in an in-your-face sexy way, but in a flattering, “I’m a woman” way.  Despite her enormous cankles and puffy feet, she wore chunky heels with the dress.  And she wore a confident, happy smile.  It was the smile that changed everything.  I haven’t felt sorry for her since.

I thought of her as I gave up on trying to find ballet flats that wouldn’t make my feet look like puffy blobs squishing out over the top.  Her feet are ten times worse than mine, maybe more like twenty times worse, but they don’t gross me out when I look at them because they don’t gross her out.  I respect her cankles and puffy feet now, because she is confident enough to show them off in stylish shoes while wearing a smile, so I bought a thrifty pair that was comfortable, even if my feet do look like something that baked out over the top of a pan when I put them on.  I wore them to church with confidence last Sunday, and thought of her every time I looked down at them. :)

While I think that being honest with yourself and doing what you can to achieve a healthy body that will last you through this life without a lot of grief is important, I also think it’s so important to be happy with your physical self no matter where you are at the moment.  This is a lesson I learned as a fat girl within the last year and a half (though I often forget it – it can be hard), and the fat girl at work helped reinforce it.  I was really getting down about being so big, but you know what?  You are beautiful, and all you have to do is realize it in order for everyone else to see it, no matter what your size.  And as they say, your smile is your best accessory – don’t forget to wear it.

Photo by Jaclyn Marie Photography

Check in Thursday to see more of the professional photos gifted to us by our friend Stephanie!

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About Veronica

I have a kitchen addiction and love to collect & share recipes. My passion is baking but I love to cook as well. The only thing I don't like to do in the kitchen is wash dishes, but my husband generally does them for me in exchange for his dinner.

15 responses »

  1. You are so right :) I went shopping recently and had a ‘why didn’t I think of that before’ moment – from now on, I’m buying my clothes in whatever size I need to to get into them (and be comfortable), and I’m cutting out that damn label as soon as I get home! I have to say, it feels so much better!

    And that last photo is downright dreamy, it could be in a catalogue, you look so radiant!

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    • Yes! Having flattering clothes in a size that fits really helps boost your confidence. I feel just crummy if I wear big t-shirts and ratty old jeans all the time. Maybe clothes shouldn’t have that much power over us, but I think they are also a reflection of how we feel inside so it does really seem to help a lot to look good in clothes, even at a big size.

      And thank you!

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  2. I am a larger lady, I got to the gym 3 times a week, hair cut and coloured every six weeks and I have all my mke up on and hair fixed by 7 30 in the morning. I am the wrong side of 55 and my moto now is “if you don’t like what I wear or look like, then don’t look at me”. It is your choice to look at me. I am confident in the way I dress and have a smile for anyone. My husband thinks I am gorgeous, as do my chilcren and their friends and to me that is all what matters.

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  3. You are beautiful!! Thanks for the lesson. I am fairly thin with some curves, but I have always struggled with my confidence. The older I get, the better I feel about myself…One of the perks to getting old :)

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    • So true! I look back on old pictures when I was thin, and can’t believe I used to think I was fat. I’m more confident now as a plus sized woman than I ever was as a normal sized one! lol

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  4. You are a beautiful person inside and out!

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  5. Yep, I love your smile V!! It always makes me smile. :D

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  6. Veronica, my daughter and I had a conversation earlier this year during which she bemoaned her “muffin top.” I told her, “I’m not a muffin… I’m a Brioche!” ;) We both had a good laugh and she saw that it’s ok to be “how you are, who you are.” I loved your post and I LOVED the fact that you looked beyond the “persona” to the PERSON. We’re all beautiful in God’s sight and we are where we are according to His plan… even if it includes extra pounds. You are an absolutely lovely pregnant woman and I hope your friendship with your co-worker extends beyond your current appreciation. It would be a blessing to you both!

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    • Unfortunately I don’t even know her name. There isn’t time to really get to know anyone unless they start at the same time as you and shifts start up to every fifteen minutes-it’s crazy. I just run into her in the bathroom sometimes.

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