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April Fools! My Kitchen Disastrophies In Review

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I know I said I was done posting until I return from Texas, but I couldn’t resist having a little fun before I leave.  Instead of playing a joke on my lovely readers today (though I admit, I would have liked to if I’d had more time to ponder a really good one), I thought I’d let you in on the fool I am in the kitchen at times.  Let’s have a laugh at my expense, shall we?

Maybe the bride will appreciate that I made a peace sign in her wedding cake?

Cinnamon rolls that were just that bad.  Yes, it really is possible.

I hate bread failures because it takes so long to make it that when you have no reward, it is a major let down.  You think this loaf looks bad? You should have tasted it.  It tasted like sin feels.

This orange chocolate chunk cake was cursed! The chocolate sank to the bottom (which became the top) and adhered to the pan. in Kitchen Failures by Veronica Miller

Nothin’ a truck-load of ganache won’t fix!

I’m pretty sure these sweet potato cinnamon brownies are served in hell.  My husband has never fully recovered from his first bite.

The only thing worse than Clean Eating’s Sweet Potato Cinnamon Brownies could possibly be Rocco DiSpirito’s Black Bean Brownies.  Please.  Just say no to Rocco’s brownies.  Try his mac and cheese instead.

No, these aren’t fancy piles of intestines…or the stuff that comes out of intestines in a horrifying color.  But these sugar roses would have been great if I needed to decorate a really morbid cake.

Seriously, have you ever seen blonde peanut brittle in your life? Major fail.  Couldn’t hardly pull your teeth back apart once you chomped down. And the raw nuts? Not such a great idea.

My mangled Razzcherry Pie.  I made this for a pie competition at the state fair and somehow managed to drop it when I was boxing it up.  I caught it upside down on my hand…and still submitted it for judging.  Needless to say, it didn’t place and the judges wrote “practice doing your lattice work” on my paper. LOL!

I know it looks like bruised chunk of raw chicken breast underneath the coating, but it’s actually a strawberry petit four with a big icing failure covering it.  After several experiments, I finally came up with a beautiful and delicious petit four coating and maybe some day I’ll get around to blogging it.  Anyone interested?

Chunks of concrete, aka Irish Soda Bread fail.

This is after I pulled out the largest chunks of potato.  A word of advice: don’t try baking potatoes at the same time you’re baking a cake.  Or if you do, poke them first.  Because if you don’t, they will totally explode all over your cake and potato chunks will totally land in your cake batter.

And my biggest fail….

A July 4th wedding cake order gone terribly wrong.  Worse happened after this. Yes, it is possible.  So glad I quit making cakes!

How about you guys?  Pulling any pranks today?  What is your biggest kitchen failure?

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About Veronica

I have a kitchen addiction and love to collect & share recipes. My passion is baking but I love to cook as well. The only thing I don't like to do in the kitchen is wash dishes, but my husband generally does them for me in exchange for his dinner.

28 responses »

  1. Heather Ingram

    Pulled a prank (Fake parking ticket for my husband. His initial reaction was priceless.)
    I’v had so many kitchen disasters I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I have lots of sons so very few things have ended up in the trash, but the ones that did were real doozies. The great thing about cooking failures is–you can always start again. Thanks for sharing your successes and failures with us!

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  2. I’m still contemplating what to pull on John. I get him every single year…you’d think he’d remember the date but, nope! I too have had many kitchen disasters. I think the one that makes me the most upset, is the fact that I cannot, and I mean cannot…make dumplings!! Just had another epic failure last weekend…ugh!!! You would think I would give up but, I just keep trying new recipes. I’m dumb like that…lol! ;P

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    • LOL, Suzie! I really don’t know why you have dumpling trouble when you’re such a great cook. I’m going to have to try it so I can either join the ranks as a dumpling failure or figure out how to do it so I can help!

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  3. I’d still eat most of those “disastrophies”

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    • Well, you know what? That totally ruined wedding cake? Yeah, I totally served it at the wedding. Had no choice! I didn’t have time to make a new one. So sad.

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  4. It wasn’t really a cooking failure but sure was a disaster for Me! We had company and I had a wonderful meal (don’t even remember what it was now) but it must have been good! I had the table set and everything looked company ready for a wonder meal with friends. As I was finishing sitting the food on the table with everyone standing watching the final touches, the table collapses in the middle and everything just does an earthquake swallow. I just stood there crying and everyone else stood there laughing! Can you imagine? Well after they assured me it would be just fine we picked up the pieces and put the table back together (minus the leaf that had broken) and still had a good fellowship.

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    • Margaret, that made me laugh but OH you poor thing!! I would have been so upset after all that work but I’m glad it worked out. Did the food survive the fall?

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  5. I am one to try new foods and some turn out really keepers and once in a while we end up relying upon the bologna! When we were first married all we had left in the house was potatoes so that is what I cooked. I added WAY too much salt and it was all we could do to choke them down. He does not let me forget that to this day some 48 years later. Talk about holding a grudge.

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  6. haha…your pictures brought me back to a time when I was making wedding cakes as well…geesh…so stressful and my kids were all small then too. Not ever looking to do that again…ever! Happy April Fool’s Day!

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  7. One of my latest failures was when I made your eggnog pumpkin bread. I forgot to add the cinnamon chips and the bread had been in for about 5-10 minutes, don’t remember just how long, so I removed it….added the chips and put it back in the oven. Don’t know what happened but it was not pretty. I evidently did not get it done enough to boot. I tried to eat it…he would not, and ended up tossing it. Since that very first try (almost did not try again) I have cranked out several of them and even gave them as Christmas gifts to neighbors and they LOVED them. Thanks V for all your good…or not…recipes. Hugs!

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    • Oh noes! LOL, that’s too bad but I’m glad the bread came out the second time. I’ve done similar things–I once forgot to put the butter in my pumpkin gooey butter cake so I took it out of the oven and very gently mixed the melted butter into the top pumpkin layer. Thankfully my fix worked!!

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  8. Oh my gosh, what a funny post!! Thank you so much for sharing all these pictures, because you’ve made me laugh out loud for the first time this morning. And a day doesn’t truly start until you laugh, right? =)

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  9. Those pictures made me think of how willing you are to try things and put yourself on the line. That’s wonderful!!! And yes, I would definitely be interested in a good recipie for petit fours. For elegance in entertaining, whether it be tea for two or a reception, there is nothing quite like petit fours.

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  10. Yes I’m interested in the petit four coating! I’ve wanted to learn how to make beautiful ones, and have failed in the past.

    I’m glad I’m not the only one with tons of laughable mistakes. That’s how we learn. Where are you going in Texas? And have a good time for me!

    Laura

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  11. Oh my, those are so funny! I’ve been wanting to make black bean brownies! Were they REALLY that bad!!

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  12. That was entertaining as hell. “Practice your lattice work” – LOL!

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  13. WOW! what an entertaining post!! So many blogs only post these incredible recipes and pictures, it can make one feel like such a failure at times so thanks for putting yourself out there and getting a good laugh out of it! i rarely even take pictures of my epic fails, but maybe now i’ll start keeping track just for memories!

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  14. I loved this post Veronica!! I’ve had so many kitchen mistakes happen in my lifetime, not sure they would all fit in one post! :D

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  15. I’m not going to lie. It’s nice seeing that someone as talented as you can actually fail sometimes. I see all your pictures and I’m totally intimidated.

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  16. We have all been there… i have a ton of pictures marked in a folder called “not using” because either the food was just not good, or the pictures looked totally unappetizing!

    Hope you’re having a great time in TX!

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  17. haha funny! i always love posting bloopers…

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  18. I love this “bloopers” post. You poor thing! I can tell a lot of work went into some of that stuff. Oh well…you live and learn right!?!

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  19. Pingback: Thankful Thursdays #31 « Veronica's Cornucopia

  20. Pingback: Easy Pumpkin-Chocolate Chip Cookies/Muffin Tops {3 Ingredients} « Veronica's Cornucopia

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