You might be a redneck…

Rednecks are the butt of many jokes (gotta love Jeff Foxworthy!), but I think they deserve some credit.  I laugh at the jokes because they can strike pretty close to home for me, and I love laughing at myself, but truly, us rednecks are some crazy geniuses.  We find the easiest and cheapest ways to fix and recreate things, and while the result is often comical, it’s also, well, easy and cheap!  And I’m all about easy and cheap.  At least when it comes to fixing & recreating things. :)  So hey, if that makes me a redneck, then I wear the name with pride!

Our back door is on the landing leading to the basement, and flush to the ground with our yard.  Due to poor landscaping, when it rains the water pools close to our door and comes in right under it, making a waterfall down the stairs.  Although we plan to level the yard and dig a trench some day (it’s always some day), in the mean time we did a redneck fix on it and nailed a board at the base of the doorway, caulked it, and now the rain no longer comes in under the door. Feel free to applaud.

The sunrooof on my car has leaked since the day I bought it.  The car company I bought it from fixed the seal for a discount (yeah, they refused to do it for free, even though I took it in the same week I bought it!), but it started leaking again a few years later.  Paying only half (if they weren’t lying to me) cost me over $200, and I wasn’t about to fork over $400 every time the seal needed fixed again.  So we bought a tube of waterproof clear caulking gel and apply a new coat around the roof every summer.  Works like a charm and it kinda goes well with all the hail dents.

There happen to be a few creative rednecks living in our neighborhood as well, so we’re in good company.  Check out this flower bed we came across on one of our walks.

Notice anything strange?

Apparently this lady got fed up with watering flowers and decided to plant artificial ones, the kind that never die!

And how about this sun shade made out of cardboard?  Why waste $10 when you can finally use some of those big boxes you’ve been collecting for the last decade and make your own, right? Right!

Notice how it’s dark outside?  I’m hoping this person was just on a really loooong grocery shopping trip, because otherwise this photographic evidence throws my “rednecks are geniuses” theory out the window.

OK, now this is a creation that I’m sure many non-rednecks have used.  Greenies makes a wonderful product called Pill Pockets that are dog or cat treats with a hole in the middle so you can pop the pill in, mold it back over the pill, and delight as your dog or cat happily swallows the pill without a big fuss.  Jessie just loves them.

The only downside is that they cost $7-$9 a bag and don’t last long when you have to give your pet more than one dose a day.  Jessie has skin allergies in the summer and has to take 6 pills a day at times to keep her from licking all her fur off.  My solution?

Turkey hot dogs are considerably lower in fat and calories than regular, and Jessie certainly doesn’t need any extra fat on her chunky little frame.  These cost $1.50 at my Aldi store and last two or more weeks.  Cheap and easy–a redneck’s dream!

To make my own pill pockets, I slice the hot dog into pieces wide enough to fit her pills.

Then I make a space for the pills by cutting a slit into each one. (On a totally unrelated note, the brown scar is from my exploding boiling honey incident, if you’re wondering. The old thick scar starting on my lower forefinger and running down to my palm is the result of my first in a long line of burn incidents.  My Dad always called me “the burn victim” growing up, because I burned myself so often.  I also used to be a quasi-pyromaniac, even starting a fire in our attic once.  Probably not the best obsession for a burn victim, right?)

Insert the pill.

And Jessie happily gobbles her pills down.  (It also works well to fold the pills into American cheese, which is soft and pliable and easily molds to the shape of a pill.)  I just store the remaining slices in a Ziploc bag so that I can just pull them out and use them immediately for her next several doses.  Oh, and that blue Rubbermaid storage tub on the floor in the photo above?  That’s her food container.  I wasn’t going to pay $40 for a food storage bin when I could make my own for less than $10, thank you!

And then there are the things that just don’t need fixing.  Like my water bottle.  I left it on the floor of my car on a hot day and melted one side flat.  Then I got it stuck in the revolving door at work and crushed the other side.  Hey, it still holds water and the straw still works.  Why do I need a new one?

Redneck pride!